Araneae Impossible
by Imagi
Summary: “Why couldn’t he have a bunny? Or a hamster! But Noooo…he HAD to have one of the forth deadliest known spiders in the world! Oh yeah and it had to be Green!” The newest story and ONESHOT from Imagi! Enjoy and don't forget to take my poll! :D


**Araneae Impossible**

* * *

**_Disclaimer:_** Do not own. Just a fan.

**_Timeline:_** Takes place right after 2008: A Space Owen

**_Rating:_** I'm saying no more violent then the episodes on TV.

_Also Karan belongs to me…please ask if you wish to use him. ;)_

* * *

It was early morning at Playa des Losers the sequel and already the battle between competitors raged at full force. One was an unyielding rock of stubbornness while the other passively aggressive like water current. And neither of them was ready to back off.

"No way!"

_"Boot you saidl"_

"No! I'm not doing it. For LeShawna yes…spider or no spider! Even though there kinda creepy…okay there a LOT creepy! And hairy and big and…UGH! But still LeShawna's my soulmate! He's just a worthless punk who only lived to terrify me on a daily basis."

Ezekiel looked at his friend with unwavering eyes as he calmly took a sip of his juice. "And you also killed his spider eh." That calm declaration caused Harold to slam his fists down on the table in annoyance.

"It was an accident! It wasn't like…HERE! Killer Spider! Attack my face in the Vomit Comet! And then I'll crush you with my back! You know…if it wasn't for his pet I could have easily gone for more then a minute in that thing."

The short brunette blinked. "Yoor stalling eh." He stated simply taking another sip from his glass.

"I am not! I'm just listing the facts! And I could have won that challenge blindfolded. Then again there was also a _traitor _hidden in our midst that I may or may not know his name…even though I do."

Ezekiel let out an annoyed sigh as he remembered just how he got into this mess in the first place. As the recent vote off continued to rant again about the punk Duncan and the traitor known as Owen the prairie boy's endless patience had reached its limit.

Pushing his breakfast aside, he shoved back his seat. Harold's anger was briefly replaced by confusion when his friend proceeded to stand on top of his chair. "Why are you standing on your chair?"

The prairie boy ignored the question and stared down at the taller boy with hard eyes. "Yoor the one who felt bad aboot accidently squishing his pet eh. And didn't you say it reminded you of Bunny?"

"A bunny is a pet. That was just a killer arachnid more then likely to kill somebody in there sleep with its poison."

Ezekiel's frown darkened. "And LeShawna Jr. was joost a pet. A reminder of her eh…umm…the girl you loike. Boot in France wood she noot be escargot?"

The rage behind the green eyes abruptly died at that cruel realization. Letting out a deep sigh the auburn haired male finally nodded his reluctant acceptance. Ezekiel grinned at the small victory. "Great! I'll go get Karan eh!"

As the shorter male raced off, Harold crossed his arms and scowled. "I may have agreed to this, but I don't have to like it!"

* * *

"Why couldn't he have a bunny? Or a hamster?! But Noooo…he HAD to have one of the forth deadliest known spiders in the world! Oh yeah and it had to be Green!" Harold complained adamantly as the hotel mini bus left yet another pet store.

Ahead in the driver seat Karan let out a chuckle. "Your friend does not like spiders no?" Ezekiel grinned back as he shook his head. The fair skinned man laughed as did Ezekiel when Harold let out another anguished wail.

"How many pet stores are in Toronto anyway?! We've had to have been in at least 12 by now!" In response the homeschooler passed over the stack of notebook paper containing the locations and addresses of the pet stores.

Harold's eyes widened in horror. "47?! How can there be 47?!"

"Well noot all of them keep spiders around eh! Especially…umm…trangulas?"

"They're called Tarantulas. Which are spiders belonging to the family Theraphosidae. Thera which is Greek for wild animal and phos meaning light. And I don't like!"

Ezekiel rolled his eyes.

* * *

It was almost dinner time when they finally returned back to Playa des Losers the sequel. Though it taken several hours of searching, they had been successful. Harold was considerably calmer as they carried their prize through the hotel.

Then again the deadly spider was contained within a glass cage not a cardboard box. "Mission accomplished we have the big killer spider. So now what? We take care of the thing until Duncan gets voted off?"

"Now what fun would that be?"

Both boys stopped suddenly when a black clad figure leapt out of nowhere in there path. Before they could protest, the unknown person attacked.

* * *

So you understand your mission?" Izzy hissed out as the Total Drama film lot came into view. Next to her Harold and Ezekiel nodded, both boys also clad identically in the ninja attire. Ezekiel had surprisingly been more then willing to go along with Izzy's insane plan though he protested adamantly about the loss of his hat.

"Ninjas have to be silent, unseen and in the rare chance they are seen they have to look alike to avoid detection." Harold had explained to the disgruntled prairie boy. Ezekiel had reluctantly agreed with that reasoning.

Now the homeschooler removed the bow around his arm and reached for a specially modified arrow. Meeting the masked gaze of his comrades, he launched it right in front of the security guards.

Immediately a dark cloud of smoke enveloped the area. The three ninjas made there way into the smoke though Izzy and Harold were far more adapt to it then Ezekiel was. Stumbling in the haze, the disguised prairie boy crashed into wall after wall.

The moment the smoke cleared he promptly made a beeline for the first trailer he saw believing it to be one of the cast trailers. Had he actually been on the film lot before he would have realized he couldn't have been farther off the mark.

* * *

_Dressing Room Cam_

* * *

Still in his disguise, Ezekiel jumped at the sight of the camera mirror. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly bit down on his tongue, unseen to the viewing world. Izzy might be his best friend, but he wasn't willing to attempt fate.

He was about to leave the room when a thought hit him. Walking back to the mirror he grabbed one of the small cylinders and twisted it causing a red stick to come out. Slowly and carefully he wrote the word ROTIART across the mirror in large letters before calmly exiting the room.

* * *

Izzy had not surprisingly run into immediate trouble with a certain CIT when she tried to leave the Girl's trailer. Maybe it had something to do with the bomb she left in Courtney's private bathroom. Or the severally mauled remains of the 700 count sheets. Or maybe it was the destroyed PDA.

Actually she couldn't really guess why Courtney let out a scream of rage before lunging at her. Izzy though wasn't complaining. Forcing down her trademark chuckle, the female ninja was ready.

* * *

The final member of the trio had in the meantime just left his former home, the covered box he had carried finally deposited in its final destination. Behind the black fabric of his outfit, his mouth curled into a grin. The warning had been issued.

* * *

The remaining cast of Total Drama Action had quickly realized something was amiss when they noticed the giant rope spider web suspended between the Girl and Boy trailers with a very irate Courtney bound from mouth to foot in the center with rope.

The jokester had even attached a note to the volatile package. Hiding her amusement over the situation, Beth picked up reached over her former team member to pick up the note.

_Amateur._

_What Martial Artist CAN'T get out of a simple double helix banana hold and tie knot?_

_You need more practice._

Not surprisingly the note was unsigned. Leaving the angry girl in the web, Beth inspected her own trailer while Owen and Duncan did the same. Both pairs of eyes were instantly drawn to the large package lying innocently on Duncan's bed.

Ignoring Owen's protests over the origin of the package, Duncan was quick to rip open the cardboard box. The disgruntled look on his face instantly faded. "Who would…Are you seriously kidding me?!"

"What?! What?!" Owen questioned, but the punk didn't answer as he dashed outside carrying the package turning off the light to the room on the way. Inside the dark room Owen chuckled.

"That Duncan! What a kidder! I can't believe he completely forgot that I was still in here!" The chubby teen's happy chuckles instantly stuck in his throat the moment he turned his head. To his absolute horror the words Traitor in your mist was written in glowing yellow paint all over the boys domicile.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Ignoring the terror filled screams of the other male from inside the trailer, Duncan happily raced over to his still trapped "girlfriend". Courtney's furious eyes widened in horrified shock when her secret crush pulled out a glass cage from the cardboard box with a familiar critter inside.

Opening the cage, Duncan pulled out a green tarantula and held it proudly in front of the trapped girl's face. "Check it out Courtney! I think I'll name him…Scrapper. Say hello to Scrapper Courtney!"

* * *

"Did you really write that in the Dressing Room Cam?!" Harold asked starting at the prairie boy in disbelief. Ezekiel nodded though his face was a bright cherry red. "I think time in the real world has given you a bit of a vengeance streak."

Ezekiel pulled his toque down over his eyes in embarrassment. The moment they had returned to the hotel, he had made a beeline for his beloved hat. "Yeah, boot he vooted you off when he was the traitor eh."

"And Courtney had it coming with the insults to my Zekey friend, the death defying acrobatic tricks and her so called Martial Arts. Do one flying kick and they think you're an expert! BAH! And besides that's Izzy's territory."

Izzy announced before submerging her face in the large sundae in front of her. Harold shook his head in amusement as he looked from the unstable red head to the shy brunet before he grinned happily.

"So warning issued and Scruffy 2 safely dropped off. I'd say mission accomplished." The auburn haired nerd declared holding up his sundae glass. Ezekiel hesitantly did the same while an ice cream covered Izzy held up a messy spoon.

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!" The trio cried out happily clinking their glasses against the spoon.

* * *

Imagi's Ramblings: Well that's done. Another random on the spot idea spawned over watching last night's episode. :) And yes I am annoyed over the vote off. ;)

Hope you liked this oneshot! :)

Imagi


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